Derp Souls: Tale Of The Chosen
by OmegaKhaos
Summary: A more humorous look at Dark Souls. This is the tale of the Chosen Undead who will succeed Gwyn and rekindle the flame, or extinguish it forever. Rated T for Bad Words, Violence, and somewhat Crude Humor. Rating may go up later. Note; By humorous, I mean that it will have humorous parts but not fully. So I ask you don't be a d**k about it.
1. Chapter 1

Omega: After playing Dark Souls, I have decided that a FanFic of it would be rather cool. So, me thinking 'Why the ef not!' decided to make one. Enjoy it my good readers.

**Chapter 1: Jailbreak**

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**A cell in the lovely five star resort that is the Undead Asylum...**

Jack sat there feeling bored out of his mind. He had been in this place for over two years just sitting in this cell as his sanity chipped away and he continued to look more and more like a beef-jerky zombie. To think, before he died, that he was on his way to fame, glory, and power. If it were not for the fact that he was back-stabbed, literally, by some jerk with a weird mask and some very tough armor which he could friggin ninja flip in! Well, that was years ago anyway. At least he still had his armor, a nice fine set of Elite Knight Armor he had acquired when he was visiting Astora. Though, sitting in this cell had rusted it somewhat.

Jack was thinking of a way out when a body tumbled down the hole in the ceiling and next to him. He looked up at man in the same armor as him, only in better condition. Jack stood to talk but the knight quickly disappeared. So, he decided to inspect the body, maybe there was some at least half rotten food for him to eat. Instead, he found himself a broken sword and a ring of keys. A smile etched its way across Jack's face as he fumbled with the keys to find the right one. After maybe 5 minutes he grew impatient and kicked the door. It fell off its hinges.

Jack stood in disbelief thinking that he could have done that much earlier. He shook it off happy that he was at least free from the cell. He walked down the hallway with his stub of a sword at the ready. He came across a mumbling Hollow, which he promptly stabbed in the gut. The skeletal undead fell to the ground and Jack felt the souls rush to him.

" Ah, refreshing." Jack said happily. He continued forward and reached a room with a pool of sewage water and a Hollow crouched in it. Jack got his attention, parried his attack, and jabbed the Hollow's own weapon into his gut. Jack continued on with even more souls stocked up. Jack climbed the ladder and came into a courtyard with a sword stabbed into a pile of bones in the center. He approached it and reached to pull out the sword only for it to light ablaze at his touch. Jack staggered back and looked at the flame. It felt somewhat comforting to him, so he sat down and rested for a moment.

He stood and walked through the large double doors. He was about half way across the large room when some massively fat demon popped from the sky and slammed down. Jack instinctively made a wuss run for the opened door on the left yelling "OH SHIT!" at least 5 times. He ran down the stairs into another room like the sewage run except it possessed another one of those swords in it. He touched it and it lit up. Jack took another rest before he decided to move on. He threw his broken sword into the eye of the Hollow in the room and continued into the outside hallway.

Jack just exited when an arrow flew by his head. He dived forward and grabbed his confiscated Crest Shield off of a dead guard. He stood and blocked the next procession of arrows and rushed the archer, who made a sissy run once Jack was in ten feet of him. Jack picked up his Astorian Straight Sword from the other guard's body. He followed the archer and ended up at a stairwell overlooking the courtyard. He assumed that the down stairs would take him back to Fatty the Smasher. So, he went up, only to come running down two seconds later as a metal ball was sent tumbling down. He moved out of the way and it crashed through the wall, a Hollow followed it.

Jack put a massive gash on the Hollow and went through the hole in the wall. He entered and saw the knight from before lying on top of a pile of bricks with a hole in the ceiling illuminating him.

" Hey, you are the guy who got me out of the cell, thanks." Jack said, truly meaning it.

" No problem my good man, I am Oscar of Astora." the knight replied.

" I am Jack of, um, well, just call me Jack, can't remember exactly where I am from." Jack said rubbing his head and letting out a small chuckle.

" Well, nice to meet you Jack, but it seems this will be a short meeting." Oscar said grimly.

" I take it you are hurt? I can tell from hole in the roof." Jack said.

" Yes, it seems my journey ends here. But, I believe you can continue it. You ever hear of the legend of the Chosen Undead?" Oscar asked coughing.

" Yep, you here for that purpose?" Jack asked.

" Yes, since you already know." Oscar said reaching into his pack. " Take these." Oscar handed Jack a key and a emerald flask.

" Thanks, what are these?" Jack asked.

" A key to the upstairs door and an Estus Flask that holds up to 20 drinks. Sadly, I only have five left, but they heal any wound to an undead and can be refreshed at the Bonfires." Oscar said.

" You're undead right?" Jack asked looking at Oscar like he was stupid.

" Yes."

" Hold this." Jack handed the Estus Flask to Oscar. " Drink it." Oscar took a big gulp of Estus and was standing up with sword and shield in hand at full health.

" Why didn't I think of that?" Oscar asked his palm. " Regardless, thank you."

" No problem. Now, would you mind helping me get out of here?"

" Sure, the way up the stairs would let us drop on the Asylum Demon's head and kill it instantly." Oscar said.

" Let's go then."

The two made their way up and killed the awaiting Hollows. They stood on the little ledge above the demon. It looked up just as the two came down and plunger their blades into its eyes. The beast gave out a roar as it fell and dispersed into souls. Jack absorbed them but Oscar apparently didn't.

" Why did I not receive any power?" Oscar complained.

" I think only the real Chosen can collect them. Actually never mind, you just got half of what I did, so you just didn't feel it." Jack pointed out.

" Oh, good." Oscar happily said.

Jack noticed a small black orb sitting where the demon once stood. Jack picked it up and crushed in his hand out of some unknown instinct and felt a rush of new life flow through him. He walked to the Bonfire he sat at it. The Estus Flask refilled and Jack placed his hand into the flame, but was not burnt. Instead he felt that life amplify and his body start to regenerate. His Hollowed and ugly face returned to the handsome image it once was, very defined and strong built with green eyes and brown hair. Jack was ecstatic at the return of his humanity.

" Looks like you got a humanity!" Oscar said.

" So that is what that was." Jack responded.

" They can return an undead back to a human, but only for as long the undead stays alive will that humanity last. So try not to die, again." Oscar said.

" Got it, now we need to get out of here."

" Agreed." Oscar said leading the way to the doors the demon had guarded.

The two went through and walked to the cliff edge. They looked around for a possible way out but couldn't find one. After about a moment, the two felt themselves being swept from their feet as a massive bird grabbed them and took them off to the land of Lordran, where their journey would begin.

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Omega: How did you like it? Please let me know in a review. If you have suggestions, please give them froth via review or PM. Thank you and enjoy your existence mortals.


	2. Chapter 2

Omega: Chapter 2 is now here, and thanks to feedback on the first. I made and effort to make this one much better than the last. Enjoy it my fellow Dark Souls Fans. (Revised spelling and grammar.)

**Chapter 2: The Burg**

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Jack and Oscar were dropped off at Firelink Shrine after a 20 minute flight from the Undead Asylum via the massive crow now perched atop the shrine's tower. Jack and Oscar took in their surroundings. The area was rather decrepit with broken stone walls and a crumbling building that was being overtaken by vegetation. A lone man in chainmail armor was sitting on a fallen tree.

Jack approached him and the man spoke.

" Another 'Chosen Undead' eh? Well, good luck."

" Thanks, but why are you just sitting here?" Jack asked.

" I like to watch the 'heroes' come and go, most never return regardless of which way they go." the man replied.

" Alright, you do that. I am going to go ring the Bells of Awakening. Now where are they?" Jack asked himself.

" One is in the parish up that way." the man said pointing to the stairs along the cliffside. " And the other is below in Blighttown."

" Wonderful information. I again thank you." Jack said as he walked away.

" No problem at all." the man said chuckling.

Jack walked back to Oscar, who was sitting at the bonfire and apparently in deep thought. Jack sat beside him and began to examine his equipment. It was in some pretty poor condition. The armor was rusted and bent while the sword and shield had evident cracking. Oscar stood and faced Jack.

" I believe it is time we set out to start our quest." Oscar said.

" Agreed, though, I need to have my equipment fixed before I can engage in actual combat." Jack said.

" Conveniently, I have just the thing to fix that." Oscar said reaching into his bag. He pulled out a golden powder and handed it to Jack. " Here, use this to fix your equipment."

Jack took it and poured over himself. The rust and damage was erased from the armor along with the cracks on the sword and shield. " Good, now we can get on our way." Jack and Oscar walked along the cliff's stairs and ran into a group of Hollows waiting in ambush.

They rushed the first Hollow and felled it easily. Another jumped from a set of stairs to their left and came down on Oscar. Oscar fought on the ground with the Hollow while Jack went to attack the Hollowed soldier in front of them. He dead stopped as a firebomb came from above. The Hollow soldier charged with a slash. Jack parried and reposed for a quick kill. Oscar finally kicked off the Hollow, sending it tumbling down to the chasm below. Jack and Oscar rushed up and took down the firebomb flinger along with two other Hollows.

They walked into the aqueduct and killed a rather large rat as they made their way into Undead Burg. They cleared out a few more Hollows while moving through buildings and ended up at another ambush with an archer. Hollows charged at them but were swiftly cut down. Oscar blocked arrows while Jack crept up and put a sword through the archer's chest. Jack walked into a small tower with Oscar following behind and found a Bonfire.

" That was rather easy." Jack said as he sat down.

" Quite, but I feel it will only grow more difficult." Oscar said as he took a seat.

" Yeah, but hey, we make one hell of a team!" Jack said triumphantly while raising his hand in a brofist.

" I concur." Oscar said accepting the Brofist of Awesomeness.

" Now, I think that was a good enough rest. Shall we get on to more Hollow slaying?" Jack said as he unsheathed his sword.

" Yes, lets."

Jack and Oscar walked back out and saw the Hollows they had just killed back and alive. They both found this strange but shrugged and went to killing. Jack charged the archer and knocked him down to the streets below while Oscar kicked a Hollow to from the stairs to a massive drop. Two more Hollows charged Oscar and died with their heads removed. After all the immediate enemies were dealt with Jack spoke.

" This is just perfect, we kill them they come back whenever we rest! The difficulty just went up! I LOVE IT! MORE FOES TO SLAY!"

" I agree it is quite satisfying to be able to repeatedly slay enemies to gain more power." Oscar said thoughtfully.

" Why don't we?" Jack asked.

" Yes, time is distorted in this place so we can do this as long as we want without a hindrance to our quest."

" THEN LETS GET KILLING!" Jack yelled rushing back to the Bonfire.

After a few hours slaying the same enemies over and over, Jack and Oscar decided for a quick break.

" That was quite enjoyable." Oscar remarked.

" Agreed. Now, I heard while in the Asylum from one of the still sane prisoners that you can use souls to better yourself. How would we go about doing that?" Jack asked.

" Good point. I believe that you offer souls to the Bonfire and ask in your mind what ability you wish to be enhanced. If you have sufficient souls, the Bonfire will make you stronger." Oscar explained.

" Wonderful now let me see how many souls I have." Jack said as he closed his eyes and searched in his mind for the souls. "Ah, I have about 10000 souls."

Oscar let out a whistle " Wow, I have... 5000. Damn."

Jack said no more and placed his hand upon the Bonfire. The souls rushed through his arm into the Bonfire and he stood. Jack turned to face Oscar. " Do you have any Greatswords within your pack?" Jack asked.

" I do. But they are to heavy for me to wield." Oscar began pulling a Claymore from his small pack.

Jack looked at him awkwardly for a moment. " How did you fit THAT in there?" Jack asked.

" This pack is magically imbued to be able to hold anything. It also functions as a portal to a dimension I was told never to go to." Oscar said cringing at the last part.

" You have any extras?"

" Yep, here." Oscar said pulling the extra out and giving it to Jack.

" So, how does it work?"

" It is very simple, you place an item in and wish to pull that out when you reach in the bag."

" Perfect." Jack said happily, placing his straight sword in his pack that was strapped to his side. Jack took the claymore that was laying on the floor and one handed it with his shield. Oscar looked in awe.

" How are you doing that?" Oscar asked.

" I wished for greater strength and endurance from the bonfire and was granted it. Now shall we get going?" Jack said walking out.

" Sure just one moment." Oscar said placing his hand on the bonfire.

Jack awaited outside as Oscar came running out as if the armor seemed much lighter than before.

" You seem much faster than 5 seconds ago."

" Pure endurance enhancement." Oscar said proudly.

" Good. Lets get killing." Jack said walking onward. They crossed a small bridge while running from firebombs raining from above. They reached the safety of an ambush inside a building. A Hollow soldier attacked from the left and ax wielding Hollows from the front. Jack took to fighting the ax wielders and Oscar fought the soldier. Jack swung his claymore, cutting the Hollows in half. Oscar side stepped the Hollow's poor attack and cut him down.

The pair continued forward and took down a few more Hollows up a flight of stairs. Jack took a ladder behind them to reach the fire flingers and dispatch them. They dropped down and continued forth. Jack took care of a few Hollow soldiers but took a bolt to the back. He turned to see Oscar stabbing the archer in the back mid-reload. Jack issued a hand-based insult to Oscar as he pulled the bolt out with the other hand. Jack took a sip of Estus.

" Sorry, I was trying to surprise him." Oscar said coming down.

" You were a bit late." Jack said clearly annoyed.

The two continued forth when a figure caught Jack's eye. It was a tall knight wielding a large, bloody sword and shield. The Black Knight stood in a narrow hall and was facing away so Jack slowly crept behind him. Jack was about to stab him when the knight turned and kicked Jack to the ground. This was followed by a quick stab through the chest. Jack felt the rush of pain and faded out.

Oscar witnessed Jack begin to fade and charged the knight, only to be parried and sliced in half. They both awoke a moment later sitting at the Bonfire with the enemies outside alive and well.

" What happened?" Jack asked.

" The Darksign, we died, and it brought us back to the nearest Bonfire without humanity nor souls." Oscar explained. " Also, we are now back on our way to hollowing." Oscar said as lifted his visor, revealing the jerky-zombie face of a Hollow.

" Shit." Jack uttered upon realizing he now was in the same condition.

" Though, we can get our humanity and souls back. We must fight our way back and collect them." Oscar said closing his visor.

" Then what are we waiting for? I have been like this long enough already." Jack said storming out to reclaim his humanity.

Oscar followed swiftly. The two carved their way back to where the Black Knight was and saw there orbs of souls and humanity sitting right there behind him. Jack crept up and grabbed his without being noticed. Oscar, on the other hand, tripped and fell down the stairs and landed right behind the Knight. It turned and brought its sword up to slay Oscar but was stopped by Jack's claymore. Oscar grabbed his souls and rolled back with shield and blade in hand.

The knight attacked first, slamming its blade into Jack's shield. Jack stood firm and responded with a stab of the claymore. The knight blocked but the sheer force caused a small stagger, which Oscar took advantage of. Oscar jabbed his sword into the knight's gut and ripped it out expecting guts to fall out, only nothing appeared. Oscar staggered back as Jack brought down the claymore on the knights head. The blade went through the armor all the way down through, slicing the poor bastard clean down the middle. The knight faded away and souls rushed into Oscar and Jack.

" That was the most challenging enemy yet." Jack said breathing heavily due to the stamina that attack took.

" Yes, and it appears he dropped somethings." Oscar said pointing.

Jack picked up the knight's sword and some pieces of titanite. Jack continued down the hall and found a body with a bright blue ring attached to the finger. Jack took it off and placed it upon his own. No effect was registered, but Jack felt it held some capability. He turned around and walked back to Oscar.

" I believe we should go back very quickly back to the Bonfire, I believe there was another path we didn't take." Ah yes, I saw it was guarded by some spear Hollows. Shall we see what was there?" Oscar asked.

" Lets." Jack said leading the way, wielding his prize from the knight. The two back-tracked and reached the alternate route. They easily killed the spear Hollows and went down the stairs. Oscar was the first to notice an obvious trap. He positioned up against a wall and signaled Jack to go in front. When he did, an ax Hollow rushed out from behind some crates but was intercepted by Oscar's sword, the Hollow's head carried the rest of the momentum and flew out of a window adjacent to the ambush point.

" Good for spotting that." Jack complemented his ally.

" Thank you." Oscar replied with a bow.

" HEY! YOU TWO EITHER GET OVER HERE AND BUY SOMETHING OR SHUT UP!" a rather angry yet weaselly voice yelled.

" Did he say buy something?" Jack said with a bit of excitement.

Jack walked out to a small balcony like area and was greeted by a rag covered Hollow merchant.

" Greetings. What do you happen to sell?" Jack asked.

" Take a look. Tell me if you like anything." the merchant said rubbing his hands together.

Jack looked over the assortment of items and picked a few. A strange looking contraption, an orange stone, and key all caught his eye. " I would like those." Jack said pointing to the items.

" Alright, just give me 3000 souls, and they are yours." the merchant replied.

" Sure, but could you explain what they are?" Jack asked extending his hand and materializing the souls in a crystal form.

" You did pay so, I guess I will. The contraption repairs your stuff, just plug souls into it, the key opens some of the houses around here, and the stone lets you send messages across dimensions." the merchant explianed.

" Wonderful, thank you." Jack said as he walked away.

" I'm always looking for repeat customers!" the merchant called.

Jack stood back inside the room with Oscar nowhere in sight. He suddenly began feeling souls come to him. He sat for a moment seeing if Oscar would come, and he did. Oscar came in with a satisfied strut to his walk.

" What makes you all happy?"

" I just got a humanity and a crossbow for us to use." Oscar said proudly.

" Wonderful, we now have range and you no longer need to look like a jerky-zombie. Speaking for that. Shouldn't we go and restore our humanity?" Jack said.

" Good point."

The two went to the bonfire and re-humanized. They cut their way through the Hollows and finally entered the big tower. They climbed to the top and found a wall of fog in their way. Oscar tried to charge through it, but looked really stupid when it solidified at his touch and he went rolling down the stairs from the impact. Jack cleanly walked through it. Oscar followed shortly.

" Looks like one hell of a place for an ambush." Jack remarked.

" I concur." Oscar said.

" Hand me that crossbow and bolts."

Oscar gave Jack the light crossbow and 50 bolts. " Good, now I am going to climb up there. You head forth, any big creatures come at you, run back here and we can drop on there heads." Jack said.

Oscar nodded and went forth only to receive crossbow bolts to the back. He turned to see Jack kicking an archer off the edge and slicing another. Oscar gave a look of annoyance present through his visor and took a swig of Estus. Jack pulled his crossbow out and watched Oscar go forth, only to run back seconds later a massive beast wielding an ax ran after him. Jack loosed bolts at the monster but didn't slow it in the slightest. Oscar frantically climbed the ladder as the beast barreled down at him. It crashed into the side of tower and was stunned for a moment, long enough for Jack and Oscar to perform their 'Double Plunge of Awesome Destruction'. They drove their blades into its skull and killed it. the fog wall faded and the two rested.

" Glad that was over. Want to get moving?" Oscar asked.

" No, lets just relax for a few moments and get moving later." Jack replied.

" Alright, but I must say, awesome team work." Oscar said extending the brofist.

" Indeed." Jack said, accepting it.

The two sat and relaxed next to the rotting corpse of the demon.

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Omega: That is all for now my good people, but there will be more! Also, I will be introducing a co-writer next chapter. Until next then, see you later.


	3. Chapter 3

Omega: Here is Chapter 3. In my quest of improving I will do my best to make this chapter have more depth and keep you sitting at your computer for an extra few minutes more than the last one. Also, there is the matter of my co-writer. Say hi.

_**Beast:**_**_ Sup_****. **

Omega: He is my resident DKS Loremaster and Assistant Humor-Creator. So, with that out of the way, lets get started.

**Jolly Co-operation**

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After sitting by a rotting demon corpse for about a half hour, Jack and Oscar decided that they should move on. They entered the tower that the Taurus Demon had jumped from and were about to go down a set of stairs when Jack noticed something under a set of boxes next to the stairs. He walked to the boxes and smashed them revealing a body with a faint glow coming from within it. Jack went to touch the body when a small white crystal appeared from the body and floated up. It landed in Jack's hand and the same Humanity crushing instinct kicked in. It was found easier to destroy than the humanity and Jack felt a rush of a nice bit of souls.

" What is that?" Oscar asked.

" A crystallized soul I believe." Jack responded.

" WAIT, did it give you souls?"

" Yep."

" I DIDN'T GET ANY!" Oscar complained.

" Too bad, mine now." Jack said with satisfaction.

The two continued down the stairs and came to an archway with a long bridge leading to the other end of Upper Undead Burg. Lining the bridge were a few Soldier Hollows.

" This seems easy enough." Jack remarked, unsheathing his claymore from his back.

" Indeed." Oscar replied bringing his sword and shield out.

" But why do I get a feeling of pure dread?" Jack asked himself.

" I see no reason for it." Oscar said.

" Yes, if you aren't looking closely enough. Don't you see the burn marks and scorched bodies?" Jack asked.

" Could just be firebomb throwers."

" That would have to be quite a few firebombs." Jack replied.

" I'll show you that it is fine." Oscar said walking out onto the bridge. He stopped just a little after the large scorch mark he turned around and held his arms out while making a taunting forward step and looking around. " See! It's fine you wuss!" Oscar said proudly, just as he was turned to ash by a drake's breath with his souls appearing next to Jack. Said drake went flying over the bridge, incinerating all the Hollows before resting on top of the building on the other side.

" Idiot." that was the only thing Jack could have said. Moments later, Oscar, in a walk of shame, returned and grabbed his souls. " Told you something was off." Jack said with satisfaction.

" Whatever, dick." Oscar muttered.

" I heard that." Jack said as he kicked Oscar back onto the bridge right past the scorch mark.

Oscar froze uttering a curse word version of excrement many times. After a moment, Oscar stopped cowering and looked at the drake. It simply stared at him like it was waiting for something. Oscar moved slowly forward as far enough to reach a pair of indents into the bridge. Jack moved up behind him and went down a set of stairs in the right indent.

Oscar didn't notice Jack and turned around to make a stupid taunt. This was apparently what the drake wanted, because it quickly hopped to the bridge and ate Oscar in a single bite. Jack heard the thump and went up to investigate, but quickly went back down when he noticed the drake. Jack decided to clear ahead while he waited for Oscar, so he continued forth through the little area under the bridge. He found a Hollow, which he quickly kicked off the side with the most powerful kick he could muster. Jack continued onto a little ledge way guarded by a spear holding Hollow. Jack parried the undead's spear thrust and threw him off the edge with his own weapon.

He continued forward into a small room with water running on the ground and rather large rats sitting in wait. Jack prepped to strike but was swarmed by them. He quickly bolted out and back under the bridge, with the rats close behind. He turned to face them. The largest one charged him with teeth bared. Jack side stepped the creature and stomped its head into the ground. The remaining two jumped at him, colliding with his shield and knocking him up against the edge. Jack rolled towards the rats as they jumped again and flew off to the abyss below.

" Take that you little bastards!" Jack yelled down triumphantly at the falling rodents."

**With Oscar...**

Oscar was sitting in a drake's stomach unconscious, his armor slowly dissolving. He woke up to the pain of acid burning his knightly-ass. Oscar jumped up with his sword out, slightly damaged by the acid, and decided that he wouldn't die like this, even though he would return to a Bonfire. He began slashing the drake's insides, a rumble resounded with each hit. Oscar was slashing for maybe ten minutes and finally found light. He began to crawl his way out.

Oscar found himself coming out of the resting drake's left side. He hit the roof of the building it was resting on laid for a moment. He sat up and looked over to the drake, now sitting and bleeding out. Oscar then stood and began a little happy dance. After that was over, he decided to finish the beast. He went to stab the sword into the weakened drake's head, only to be greeted with a clang as his sword bounced off the reptiles thick skull. Oscar looked at the giant lizard in frustration. That was when he noticed the drake's tail. He walked over and noticed how it appeared weaker and, had a weapon lodged in it

Oscar raised his blade high and brought it down with force. The tail came a quarter off. Oscar kept slashing and eventually severed it. He pulled a blade out of it. Oscar inspected said weapon. It was a sword comprised of Dragon Bone. Oscar smiled as he sheathed his sword and wielded the blade. He turned to the drake and walked to it's neck. With one quick slash the head slid of its body. A MASSIVE amount of souls rushed Oscar. He was very happy with his new weapon.

**Jack...**

Jack was waiting for Oscar under the archway, but quickly lost patience. He turned around and headed to the sunny balcony behind him. He leaned against the railing and looked out at the only beautiful part of Lordran. It took him a moment before he noticed the man bathing in sunlight on the the balcony's lower level. Jack walked down the stairs to this strange man and got a good look at him.

The man was wearing an iron helmet with a red feather on the top, iron bracers and boots, chainmail leggings and and undershirt, and a cloth shirt over with it with green fringe on the shoulders. He had a sword and large shield strapped to his back. The shield had a picture of the sun painted onto it. Jack also noticed a small talisman attached to the man's belt.

Jack was right behind the man when he turned around. The same picture of the sun was painted onto his shirt.

" Hello, you don't appear Hollow, far from it I must say!" the man said in a cheery voice.

" Yeah, I guess so. Who are you exactly?" Jack asked.

" Forgive me for not introducing myself. I am Solaire Of Astora, an adherent of the Lord of Sunlight." the man said with a slight bow.

" Nice to meet you Solaire, I am Jack." Jack returned the bow.

" Very nice to make your acquaintance Jack."

" Yes, now what brings you here?" Jack said.

" Ah yes, if you cannot tell, I am Undead. This being the case, I have come to this great land the birthplace of Lord Gwyn, to seek my very own sun!" Solaire answered.

Jack turned his head sideways in a bit of confusion. " You find that strange? Well, you should. No need to hide your reaction, I get that look all the time." Solaire finished with a laugh.

" Very interesting my friend, go on." Jack said, actually intrigued.

" I didn't scare you? Then I have a proposition, if you have a moment."

" Sure." Jack replied.

" From how I see it, are fates appear to be intertwined. In land brimming with Hollows, could that really be mere chance?" Solaire asked.

" I guess not."

" So what do you say? Why not help each other on this lonely journey?"

" Gladly." Jack responded.

Solaire handed a white stone to Jack. " Wonderful, this makes me very happy!"

" Same here, the more the merrier!" Jack said happily.

" Now, we are amidst strange beings, in a strange land. The flow of time itself is convoluted; with heroes centuries old phasing in and out. The very fabric wavers, and relations shift and obscure. There is no telling how long our worlds will remain in contact. But use this." Solaire says as he gestures to the stone in Jack's hand. " To summon one another as spirits, cross the gaps between worlds, and engage in jolly co-operation!" Solaire finished.

" Or you could come with me, that should keep our worlds together." Jack said.

" That idea is much more sound than mine, but you may still use that to summon other allies from other worlds." Solaire pointed out.

" Very good. Now shall we depart?" Jack asked.

" Give but a moment. I wish to stay and gaze at the sun. The sun is a wondrous body. Like a magnificent father! If only I could be so grossly incandescent!" Solaire finished in a poetic manner.

" Are you ready now?" Jack asked.

" Yes."

" Time for some JOLLY CO-OPERATION!" Jack excitedly yelled while raising his hand for a high five.

Solaire accepted and a massive blast of pure awesome exploded out of the two. " Let no foe stop us!" Solaire shouted.

The two put their weapons in hand and badassly walked across the bridge. This was when Jack noticed the drake. It appeared like it was having some hell of indigestion. It was on its side roaring in pain. Jack and Solaire watched from a distance as what looked like...Oscar? Cut through the beast's belly and crawled out. He then stood and did a little dance, afterwards he tried to kill it, only for his blade to bounce off. Oscar then walked over to the drake's tail and cut it off. He returned to the drake's head with a new sword in hand. With one quick motion he cleaved its head off.

Jack felt the souls reach him and Solaire. " Wow, good going Oscar!" Jack yelled a congratulation.

Oscar turned as he heard the compliment. " Thank you my good man!" Oscar yelled back as he bowed over the edge of the building that faced the bridge. He bowed a bit too far and fell flat on his face upon the stone bridge below. Jack and Solaire both Looked Skyward.

" Why can't I look cool for once." Oscar asked the ground.

" At least you fell with grace." Solaire said.

" Yeah, I believe we should move on." Jack said as he walked over and pulled Oscar up.

The trio entered the building and rested at the bonfire in front of the fountain statue within. A group decision was made to stay for a small amount of time to recuperate and get their equipment in shape. Solaire noticed Oscar's Hollowing and gave him a Humanity to revive himself and showered in a repair powder to fix his armor. Jack pulled out the Repairbox and began working on everybody's weapons while Oscar re-humanized and Solaire disappeared. He handed Oscar's Drake Sword back, which Oscar held like his own child. He placed Solaire's sword and shield up against the fountain. Jack looked around wondering where Solaire was.

He stood and headed out to the Sunlight Altar. He looked around and noticed the various Hollows. One was staring at a wall, another holding itself, and a third praying. Jack decided to leave them be. He looked to the destroyed statue and saw Solaire. He was standing and staring at the remains of a the Lord of Sunlight's statue, with a posture and look as if seeing himself dead.

" Hey, you alright Solaire?" Jack asked.

Solaire turned around and made sure to muster a cheery voice. " Nothing at all my friend, I am just enjoying the view."

" Alright, but we need to get moving, first bell's up ahead." Jack said as he walked back inside.

Solaire stood for a moment, taking one final look before turning back to return to his compatriots.

Jack watched Solaire re-enter and stood to hand the Sunbro's weapons back to him. Solaire accepted them with a hearty thank you. Jack returned to his seat and the group rested for a good amount of time. Oscar fell asleep with his sword cradled in his arms. Solaire slept up against a wall, mumbling " Praise the Sun." Jack silently sat, for he could not seem to obtain any type of drowsiness.

He watched as his companions enjoyed sleep, and thought to himself. _" Why can't I sleep? Also, why am I creepily staring at other people? But mostly why can't I sleep."_ Jack shifted around deciding what to do, his mind flew through ideas but stopped on one. It was more like a question, " Who am I exactly?" Jack asked himself. He knew his name, he knew about his first death, he knew some of his travels beforehand, but he didn't know anything else about himself.

Jack found it rather strange, not knowing himself. He searched his mind looking for any other memories. One actually came up, though it seemed more like some kind of vision.

Jack was standing in what appeared like a row of knights, all donning bright silver, less demonic, Black Knight armor and brandishing massive weapons, spears, axes, swords, all of which looked capable of felling a giant. He looked forward and noticed a bearded man on the front of the knights, he was donned in regal robes with a strange crown and large sword that was burning with intense flame. In front of all of them were...dragons? Massive stone beasts flew through the skies towards them, the bearded king formed a bolt of lightning within his hand and loosed it at a the lead dragon, opening a hole in its scales.

This began the knights' charge. Jack's body moved without command and charged in a manner that appeared foreign to him, but also felt like exactly the same. He cut through small dragons using a large sword with ease. His head turned and witnessed a being made of skeletons unleash a black miasma that killed all in its path. Jack wanted to move, as the other knight's did, but was frozen. The black wave moved forward, killing everything. It just touched him and everything went black.

Jack was thrown from his vision. He sat for a moment collecting his thoughts. What was that? He doesn't remember ever being in a place like that, unless. Could he have gone through multiple lives? Only remembering his name? Bringing only skills and not memories. That could explain his ease of dispatching enemies and ability to observe, that would come from experience and wisdom. Whatever the case, he now knows somewhat of his past. Jack just sat for the remainder of the time his companions slept.

Not much time later Oscar awoke with drool seeping through his helmet. Oscar quickly cleaned up the mess with a kerchief from his satchel. Solaire woke shortly after and instinctively Praised The Sun, a surprisingly stupid looking yet purely badass Y pose. Jack still sat silently.

" Something wrong friend?" Solaire asked in his cheery tone.

" Nothing, just didn't get any sleep." Jack responded with a chuckle.

" Joyous! Now, shall we depart? Our journey needs to continue." Solaire said.

" Yes it does, I need to test this baby on some foes." Oscar said rubbing his sword.

" Yeah, lets get going." Jack said and stood.

Jack walked over to the lever that controlled the large gate and pulled it. A loud rumble was heard as chains and gears moved to lift the gate. Jack gestured to his companions as the gate opened up. Solaire was the first to go with Oscar behind and Jack bringing the rear. They had two ways to go, forward to the parish, or right and up the stairs to see what was atop the tower. Oscar went up the stairs immediately. Jack and Solaire simply waited.

** Oscar...**

Oscar ascended the stairs with a brisk pace as to see if there was a worthy opponent at the top. He just reached the opening to the roof and was greeted by a greatsword wielding Black Knight.

" **SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER!**" the knight said in a demonic voice as it leaped at him with its massive blade.

" SHIT!" Oscar yelled as he raised his shield to protect himself.

The blade collided with a clang, Oscar barely held his ground. Oscar decided to strike back with his new weapon. He unleashed a powerful slash at the knight, which was parried. Next thing he knew, Oscar was stuck on the blade of the knight. The knight looked down and noticed Oscar's companions. Oscar then felt a sensation of falling.

**Jack and Solaire...**

A minute later Oscar reappeared, on the blade of a Black Knight jumping from the tower. The massive knight landed on the ground with a _THUD, _Oscar impaled on its jagged and bloody greatsword. Jack and Solaire looked at each other, both sharing the same look of astoundment at Oscar's inability to fight anything tougher than a Hollow. The Black Knight stood with the blade, and Oscar, slung over its shoulder as if waiting for a reaction.

Solaire was the first to react, he charged a Sunlight Spear with his talisman and threw it full force at the Black Knight. While that was going, Jack leaped at the knight for a full power smash. Coincidentally, Jack's claymore and Solaire's Sunlight Spear collided, uber-charging Jack's strike. The Black Knight raised its shield, only for it to be shattered like glass. The knight became souls, dropping his sword, some titanite, and a half-dead Oscar.

Jack and Solaire moved to Oscar. Solaire prepared a healing miracle, Jack pulled his Estus Flask. Jack gave Oscar and swig and the miracle finished whatever healing needed. Oscar sprung up, but slightly disappointed.

" Dammit, not again! I keep on losing! No matter what!" Oscar said rather enraged.

" You have little in the way of combat experience, but that is the only thing stopping you." Jack said in a, hopefully, reassuring tone.

" He is correct. You haven't fought many foes stronger than you alone, but at least you are getting better." Solaire said.

" Alright, you guys do have a point." Oscar said a bit less angry/sad.

" Then let us continue!" Jack said as he ran ahead, and returned five seconds later.

" What is it?" Solaire asked.

" A BIG metal boar." Jack said.

" That scared you?" Oscar said rather cockily.

" Fine, go see for yourself."

" I will." Oscar said as he strutted up, then back down.

" See?" Jack said.

" Yeah, I see."

" Strategy anyone?" Solaire asked.

" I saw a staircase of to the right, we can ascend it and get the drop on piggy." Jack said.

" Did you notice the Hollows?" Oscar asked.

" No, where are they?"

" One guarding the stairs, two next to piggy, two archers above piggy." Oscar listed.

" Got it, who is going to distract the enemies?" Jack asked.

" It can be either you or me." Solaire said.

" Yeah, I have a crossbow, you have lightning bolts." Jack responded.

" That mean I get to sneak up on the boar?" Oscar asked.

" Yes" both Jack and Solaire responded.

" YAY!" Oscar happily cried.

" Now, lets go!" Jack said as he and Solaire both prepped their attacks.

Oscar moved to the right and smashed into the Hollow guarding the stair, the Hollow's head collided with the wall and a _CRACK _came from withing its head. The body fell limp and Oscar moved up the stairs. He found another Hollow and two archer back-ups on the small bridge above the boar. The archer's aimed to fire, but were taken down by a spear of lightning piercing one and a crossbow bolt going through the other's head. Oscar awaited the Hollow's move. The Hollow drew its spear back to thrust. Oscar parried the attack and stabbed his sword through the wretched undead's chest. He kicked the body off and moved above the boar.

Jack and Solaire launched each's according projectile at the boar. The bolt pinged off but the Sunlight Spear hit the boar and sent shocks through its armor. The creature gave out various spasms as the electricity coursed through it. Seconds later, Oscar came plunging to the beast's head and jabbed his sword clean in. The boar fell limp and Oscar walked off it like a king from a throne.

" Good job Oscar. That was some amazing teamwork." Jack said.

" Yes, I must agree, our co-operation was rather jolly!" Solaire added.

" And I got to be badass for once." Oscar said with a his pride soaring.

" Yes, you did." Jack said as he patted Oscar's head. " Now to walk through the massive open ga-" Jack was cut off by a Hollow pulling a lever and slamming the gate down, preventing further progress. " Shit."

" This is rather troublesome." Solaire said.

" We could take the underground way." Oscar suggested, pointing to a set of downward stairs.

" Good idea Oscar." Jack said leading the way.

Solaire and Oscar followed him with weapons ready. Jack saw a Hollow run away from them down the corridor and into a larger room. Jack noticed a possible trap, and Oscar ran ahead. Oscar actually reacted as if he predicted the trap and cut down the Hollows that charged from each side of the doorway. Oscar continued onward out of Jack and Solaire's sights, the sounds of dying Hollows were heard echoing from the large room. Jack and Solaire entered and saw Oscar impale a Hollow and kick it from the second floor down to them.

" This way good fellows!" Oscar yelled as he continued forward.

Solaire made his way up the ladder and Jack noticed something twinkling on a Hollow's corpse. Jack walked over and plucked a key from the body. He couldn't think of any use for it, but figured it useful for something later. Jack followed up the ladder and reached the third floor as Solaire and Oscar finished the Hollows.

" What took you so long?" Oscar asked, pulling his sword from a Hollow's head.

" Found a key, maybe it'll come in handy." Jack responded.

" Wonderful. Lets keep moving shall we?" Solaire said as he marched forward.

The trio came out to a bridge that overlooked the one above where the boar's body now lay. They continued forward and stopped when they came to a small corridor, it split left and right, Jack went right while Solaire and Oscar went left. Jack came upon a Hollowed knight facing away from him, it had a massive shield in its left hand, and a longsword in the other. A long red cape draped down its back, and pieces of plate mail covered its body. Jack especially noticed the cape, which he removed swiftly after driving his claymore through the Hollow's back. He strapped it to his lesser armored right arm.

Jack turned with his new cape flowing in the newly apparent breeze. He walked back and to where Solaire and Oscar were now finishing another one of the knights and a Hollow in a tight corridor leading around to the church. Jack greeted his companions and received compliments on the addition to his armor. Jack accepted them and the group continued on. They came around to the side of the parish and ran into a few more Hollows. Jack blocked the archer's bolts while Solaire and Oscar ripped through the two other Hollows. A powerful slash from the claymore sent the Hollow's torso off the edge. Its legs stood for a moment, then fell limp to the ground.

The group moved into the church and found a massive and heavily armored Hollow with a tower shield and massive mace. Jack and Solaire moved to combat it and Oscar stood for a moment, wielding his blade in both hands. He felt and immense power build up within the weapon. " MOVE!" He yelled as he slammed the blade to the ground and sent a wave of power at the knight. The wave hit the knight, and kept going, cutting it in half. The two separate halves fell over.

Solaire and Jack looked at Oscar with astonishment. " What was THAT?" Jack asked.

" I don't know, I just held it in two hands and felt pure power." Oscar said breathing heavily from that stamina draining attack.

" Cool, but what is THAT." Jack asked as he pointed to a glowing object hovering above a body on the altar.

" I do not know exactly, but may have a guess, that may be the soul of a firekeeper." Solaire said.

" Aren't they supposed to be really powerful?" Oscar asked.

" Yes, they are eternally gnawed at by humanity."

" Then lets take it." Jack said as he took the soul and placed it within his bag. " Never know if it could come in handy."

" He possesses a point." Oscar said.

" He does, now shall we clear the church of any remaining foes?" Solaire asked.

" Of course, I'll clear out front and you and Oscar take upstairs. I'll join you when I am finished." Jack said.

" Alright, good luck." Oscar said as he led the way up.

Jack nodded and headed out for the front, only to be stopped by Soul Spear hitting the ground in front of him. He looked up to see a tall, six-eyed, mage looking down on him from the above balcony. Jack was apparently stopped, until something else got its attention. Jack slipped by and went into combat with more of the caped knights. Jack was rushed by two of them. Both came with swords swinging. Jack parried one and kicked the other's knee inwards. He reposed the first and decapitated the second. A third charged with a rapier and small shield. Jack saw that this was a perfect parry set up. He waited for the knight to drop its guard, it didn't. Instead, Jack kicked the knight down and brought his sword down on it. He walked outside and dealt with the Hollow that shut the gate on them before. Jack quickly cut him down, opened the gate, and walked back into the church.

**Sunbro and Oscar...**

Solaire and Oscar went up the stairs and encountered a Balder knight. Oscar attacked, but was parried, Solaire saved him with a follow up strike to kill the knight. The two went up and heard the crash of a spell hitting the floor. They moved up and found a Channeler staring down at Jack. Oscar rushed to get behind it, attracting it and the multitude of Hollows behind its attention. Oscar stopped in the hallway and prepared for the horde of Hollows. Solaire launched a Sunlight Spear at the Channeler, harming and distracting it. Oscar prepped another power wave as Hollows flooded the small corridor. He unleashed it and the Hollows flew out of the hallway and into the large room. Oscar rushed in and at the Channeler. He ripped its trident away and stabbed it into its owner's gut. The Channeler fell down, pretty damn dead.

" That takes care of that." Oscar said triumphantly.

" Not completely." Solaire responded as he slew a Balder knight that came from down one of the halls with a quick slash.

" Now it is." Jack said as he came through the hallway behind them.

" That was rather fast." Oscar noted.

" It was just three of the knights and a regular Hollow, no big deal." Jack said.

" Now where to? We can ascend up to the tower or explore this church." Solaire said.

" Lets explore then ring the bell. I figure it would be easier that way." Jack said.

" Alright, shall we stick together or split up?" Oscar asked.

" Lets just stick together, it is a small enough structure to not require any group dispersal." Jack replied.

" Alright, shall we see where the knight of Balder came from?" Solaire asked as he gestured to the hallway.

" It does look like something could be back there. Lets go." Jack said as he led the way.

The three walked down the hall and to a back portion of the church, they stopped at a busted wooden door. They decided to leave it be until they finished looking around. They continued on to a dead end with a body stuck in a barrel. Solaire smashed the barrel with a shield bash and the body fell out with a Humanity floating up from it. Jack caught the black sprite and stored it for later. The group returned their attention to the broken door.

Jack walked up to it and busted it down with a kick. They all entered and went up two flights of stairs, reaching a cell containing a golden clad prisoner. His armor was peculiar. It sported crown like protrusions on the helmet and pauldrons. The helmet itself had various holes in the visor and the chestplate had arms wrapping around it like the wearer was being hugged. The leggings sported a leather skirt of sorts, made of individual strands lined by studs. Two Shotels were strapped to the knight's back and a parrying dagger on his hip.

" Hello, I am Lautrec of Carim, and I am in a rather inopportune position." the gold knight said when he noticed them approach.

" Greetings I am Jack and these two are Oscar and Solaire of Astora." Jack said.

" Nice meeting you but, I would like to be free from this cell. I will be ever so grateful if you were to help me with this problem." Lautrec said.

" Sure, think this key I found may be of use with that." Jack said as he placed the key in the rusty cell's lock. He turned it and a click signified the door unlocking.

" This is perfect. Thank you, I will give you a reward to repay, but later." Lautrec said.

" Or you could help us against the bell guardians." Oscar suggested.

" I believe that would be better." Solaire said.

" You do have a point. I'll aid you and we are even. Then I can go through with my plans!" Lautrec said with an evil laugh.

" Oookaaay." Jack replied.

" Oh, forgive me. I got a little carried away."

" Just a bit." Jack said.

" Ah, yes. Shall we continue? We have more than enough to defeat whatever may be ahead of us." Lautrec said.

" Agreed, lets go!" Jack said as he led the group back to the main upper room and then to the ladders that reached the roof.

They all made their way one by one, starting with Jack, and ending with Lautrec. A fog wall stood between them and their opponents. Jack went first followed by Lautrec, then Solaire, and finally Oscar. They all stood on the large roof with inclines that kept them having to readjust their footing to not slip and fall. No enemy was in sight. This observation in mind, Jack moved forward towards the tower. When he did, their opponent made itself clear and present.

A large gargoyle flew from the bell tower and landed on the roof on front of Jack, its weight leaving indents in the roof's tiles. Jack readied his shield as the gargoyle swung its large halberd at him. The force of the polearm colliding with his shield caused him to skid back a foot or two. At this, his companions sprung to action. Solaire charged a Sunlight Spear and Oscar prepared for a power wave from his blade. Lautrec rushed to get behind the winged guardian. The gargoyle focused its sights on Solaire as he threw his "spear". The gargoyle took the hit and charged Solaire. Oscar unleashed the power wave, but the gargoyle used its wings to fly over it.

Lautrec had disappeared, or so they thought. A moment after the gargoyle took flight, Lautrec appeared on its back with both Shotels slashing at the wings. The gargoyle stuttered in flight as one wing was halfway removed. It landed right in front of Jack, Solaire and Oscar. Jack rushed at the gargoyle with his claymore ready to smash into the creature's head. The gargoyle jerked its head sideways just in time to dodge Jack's strike. It quickly countered by spinning around and smashing Jack with its ax-bladed tail. Jack flew and smashed into the wall of a raised portion of the church.

Solaire and Oscar attacked next. Solaire threw another lightning bolt and Oscar charged. The bolt hit the gargoyle, stunning it and also electrifying Lautrec, who fell and almost rolled off the building's side but was saved by stabbing his parry dagger into the roof. Oscar managed to get a good slash on the gargoyle, cutting its head open. It fell limp and a victory cry was roared, until the second gargoyle came.

This one landed and sent a breath of fire towards the two Astorians. Solaire went into man-mode and raised his shield as the attack came at him. While Oscar dodged out of the way. Solaire stood untouched by the flames with another Sunlight Spear aimed for the second gargoyles still open mouth. He threw it with mighty force, but the gargoyle raised its shield to stop the attack. Solaire looked astonished, but quickly regained himself and prepared to face the winged beast.

Jack had just recovered from the previous gargoyles attack and was now standing, feeling strangely braver and more resilient. He looked at his finger and noticed the blue stone of the ring he picked up earlier glow intensely. Jack figured that the ring must respond to grievous injuries by making the wearer tougher. He smiled and began a charge at the second gargoyle.

Solaire was about to take a charge from the gargoyle when Jack came in and crashed his claymore into its chest. He then ripped out it out and cut off the gargoyle's head. Solaire, Oscar, who had just finished cowering from the fire and attack, and Lautrec, just getting back up from his hang time, all looked in amazement.

" What just happened?" Oscar asked.

" It was this ring, it made me stronger when I became hurt badly." Jack replied.

" Ah, a blue tearstone from my homeland of Carim." Lautrec said. " They can sense when you are near death. When they do, they activate a special power. The blue one you wear makes you more resilient when you are fatally wounded or at least close to being so."

" Impressive, this is definitely a keeper." Jack said happily. " Now to ring the bell." Jack made his way to the tower, his companions following close behind.

They entered the tower and Jack ascended the ladders to the top while the others waited at the bottom. Jack reached the top and admired the nice view. After he was done sightseeing, he pulled the lever that activated the first Bell Of Awakening. It rang with power and echoed throughout the area. Jack gave a triumphant nod as he turned around and slid down the ladders back to the bottom. He was greeted by Oscar and Solaire, but no Lautrec.

" Hey, where is Goldie?" Jack asked.

" He said that he had repaid his debt and that he would be waiting at Firelink Shrine if we needed him again." Oscar answered.

" Alright, that's perfectly fine. But I must ask. Who is that guy?" Jack asked, pointing to a man in a black coat with a peculiar helmet on his head and a rapier sheathed to his side. His skin was pale and arms were held out in a T formation.

" I am Oswald The Pardoner, servant of Velka, Goddess of Sin." the man replied.

" Nice to meet you. What do you mean Pardoner?" Jack asked.

" I can absolve you of all sin and clear you name, for a price of course."

" Alright, pretty sure none of us have too much sin at the moment, so we are fine." Jack replied.

" Well then, you may be but soon you will be back. It is only HUMAN to commit a sin." Oswald said with a laugh.

" Understood. Now, show we all depart?" Jack asked. Solaire and Oscar nodded in agreement. " Then lets get going."

* * *

Omega: Chapter ending there. Isn't that much longer than before? I hope I made you people happy and such. Feel free to leave a review, whether you hated it or not, I need the feedback. Thank you.

_**Beast: Don't forget to PRAISE THE SUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNN!**_


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